In memory of Sheila
On Guy Fawkes day in 1951, in the port City of Dar-es-Salaam, Tanganyika, a little firework exploded into the lives of Frank, Margaret and Gordon Kent in the form of a baby daughter and sister, Sheila.
Life in East Africa at that time must have been idyllic for a growing child, an abundance of good food, sunshine, sandy beaches and good schools, surrounded by loving people. Alas a time came, only too soon when a new era in her life would open up, and she was sent to attend Dollar Academy, a prestigious boarding school in Scotland. After leaving school, and in-line with her caring and loving nature, Sheila undertook a career in nursing, training at the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary. Nursing and the care of and nurture for others became the core of Sheila’s persona, and is one of the traits which people recognised and most admired in her for the rest of her life.
On the 14th of January 1978, Sheila married Bruce, a Merchant Navy officer. This opened two new loves in Sheila’s life; her own family and her love of the sea, both of which played crucial parts in her life. She and Bruce were blessed with two incredible children, Caroline and Malcolm. With Bruce away for eight or nine months of every year for well over thirty years, Sheila did an incredible job of raising them both virtually single handed. Somehow she also found time to run a home and nurture many pets, the latest (her special favourite), being Pepper the Beagle.
Nobody who knew Sheila could be in any doubt that along with her faith the most important love of her life was her family; her deep love for them, her respect for and pride in their achievements, are legendary. She was so very happy when Malcolm brought his lovely bride Jo into the family. It rounded out another part of her, and her joy and love brimmed over when granddaughters Megan and Ava were born.
She was also extremely happy when Caroline introduced her fiancé Vladimir to us all. She loved being involved in the preparations for Caroline’s wedding, helping to choose the location, the dress, and all the other myriad details in which Caroline involved her. In her last weeks, her biggest regret was that she would not be able to attend the wedding. As always, thinking more of others than of herself, Sheila was aware that her absence would bring sadness to this wedding which should be so joyful. Caroline and Vlad will be married in June this year.
Sheila’s devotion to her family can be shown in one little story; at Abshot Country Club she jumped fully clothed into the swimming pool to pull out Malcolm who had, whilst showing off, jumped out of his depth before having learnt to swim!. She then had to walk back through the crowded public rooms, soaking wet, and drive home to change. The car had condensation problems for months afterwards.
When Sheila’s parents moved to Fareham her family was complete, her Mother, Margaret was a frequent participant in services at this church and became well known for her loudly whispered comments and waving walking stick. Her Father, Frank, whom she cared for, supported and looked after right up to the end, is here with us today.
She was very close to Bruce’s Mother and Father, Moyra and Arnold, and always enjoyed their visits from South Africa and managed somehow to make each visit special. To the end she regularly visited the spot in Portchester Crematorium Gardens, where their ashes are interred often taking her children, grandchildren and Pepper with her.
After a break of around 11 years to raise her family, Sheila resumed her career in nursing when the children moved to secondary school; she made many very close friends amongst her colleagues, patients and students, many of whom are here with us today. Thank you.
Sheila was always a true believer, if not overtly religious, throughout her life. Not many people can claim to have been baptized by a Methodist preacher in Tanganyika, confirmed into the Scottish Presbyterian Church in Scotland and lived within Bruce’s Anglican faith in England before finally finding her true belief, and spiritual home in the Roman Catholic church, here at the Sacred Heart Church in Fareham. Her deep faith, her loving and generous nature and her willingness to give her time, her knowledge, and perhaps most of all, the way she shared her inner peace and joy with those around her, all shaped her later life and gained her a whole new group of close friends. Again so many of them are here today to pay respects to her memory. Thank you.
Sheila had so many sides to her life, that a few should perhaps be shared with you here:
Sheila developed into an amazing cook, specialising in the curries which she learned to make directly from the chefs on many of the ships she travelled on with Bruce. This story is told in her memorial webpage.
Sheila was revered by the Bangladeshi crew whilst travelling with Bruce, this was because of her compassion, gentleness and willingness to help. This is exemplified by one incident when one of the stewards had a heart attack on board several days from any port where medical help was available, she sat with him for almost two days, nurturing him, nursing him, feeding and cleaning him. Outside the tiny six berth cabin, his cabin mates had already decided he was going to die and were wailing and crying and promising to marry his wife and care for his family. Sheila kept him alive and he went on to live for many years. Sheila became, as a result, a sort of talisman to that community for very many years.
She made a host of new friends and learned new recipes from our Sri Lankan and Filipino crew in her last few voyages. Many countries were visited, and Sheila made several close friends and many acquaintance’s in Italy, France, Spain, the Philippines, the Middle East, Brazil, Mauritius and East and South Africa.
Food and cooking played an integral part of her life, she liked nothing better than experimenting with new dishes of every type. She loved a good BBQ, perhaps a legacy of her African childhood.
Sheila loved her holidays and together with Bruce was fortunate enough to have shared several incredible trips to Ireland, the USA and particularly Canada, which she loved above all others. They always chose to go in Winter because Sheila loved the crisp days, clean snow and the dry cold. She was seldom happier than when standing high up in the Rockies with snow up to her knees, surveying the snowy mountains around her.
Nobody would accuse Sheila of being an exercise fanatic, but she played a decent game of squash, occasional tennis and as a girl climbed a considerable part of the way up Mount Kilimanjaro in Kenya. She also enjoyed her very infrequent forays onto the ski slopes.
Christmas was a very special time for Sheila and she loved every aspect, the spiritual and the everyday. She loved giving and her happiness was complete when seeing the joy and surprise on everyone’s faces as they opened her thoughtful, carefully planned and usually over generous presents. She loved the lights, the tree, the decorations, the music and of course the food. Mostly she loved the overflowing excitement of her little granddaughters, and she loved the peace and joy of the Christmas services and carols here in the Church.
Late on in her illness, Sheila found immense happiness, emotional fulfilment and spiritual peace when Caroline took her to Rome for a visit to the Vatican. The purpose of the visit was to pass through the Holy Door, opened last year by Pope Francis; but the main point of the trip was to relax and share some quality mother/daughter time.
So many words spring to mind with regard to Sheila. Loyal, giving, generous, compassionate , gentle, understanding; she was brimming with her faith and bursting with life and energy. Sheila, and her life, can be summed up in one word “Love”.
However, as anyone who knew her must agree, Sheila was so much “More Than Words”.